?? 33 Funny Cover Letters and Job Applications That are Actually Real

?? 33 Funny Cover Letters and Job Applications That are Actually Real 313 These need to be seen to be believed. Photo by Sonny Abesamis MOST of these are real. See if you can spot the few joke ones, and mention your picks in the comments. 1) “Attached is a copy of my CV and his death certificate” eval 2) “I have brave fight to wild bear” eval 3) “I am only 6” 4) Reason for leaving: “It sucked” 5) “kount money faster than a bank teller” 6) “i like kids and its fun to fiddle with them” 7) “I won't waste your time… feeding you a line of crap” 8) “If you have any questions, please feel free to f#$king contact me” 9) “it would be the highest choice of my smile to discuss myself being hired” 10) “Please explain your rationale for the rainbow” 11) Please tell me why you deserve to be hired: “To be paid” 12) “You need me to work you because you seem to have trouble with math” 13) “lets make it happen WOO WOO” 14) “Please realize that I'm not a braggart or conceited” 15) “calling our head of HR a ‘skank ho' does not gain you any plus points” 16) “My middle name is Promptness. True story. Ask my mom” 17) “here's a good presentation that cover's the basics” 18) “this position sparked my interested because…” 19) “I am your dog walker… I got a 1600 on my SATs” 20) “Me also can fight for boxing like Tyson” 21) “I am also very highly motivated, just show me the money” 22) “I hate this guy” 23) “I'm sick of writing these pedestrian cover letters, you're sick of reading them” 24) “I am 24 years old which is why I think this position is a great fit for me” 25) “I received some feedback from the grandfather of a friend” 26) “And like to write columns, blogs, reviews, articles and letter to the editor” 27) “since I moved here solely for career purposes, don't really have any friends yet… I'm in a perfect position to make work my life” 28) “right now studying in a Left leaning institution” 29) “the only caveat IS I have to do this during non-working hours” 30) The most generic cover letter ever? 31) “it would probably explode from Cancer of the RAM” 32) “I dont have any expereince” 33) Business Insider Sports Intern? Bonus 34) Captain America's cover letter 35) “I am writing to you in regard to the position of boyfriend” ABC News: Worst cover letters More funny cover letters and job applications Reverse Job Application Is this the worst cover letter ever? 7 Funniest Cover Letters 17 Funniest Cover Letters and Resumes Question of the article What's the dumbest thing you ever wrote on a cover letter or job application? Tell us in the comments!

Fake Friends - How To Recognize (and neutralize) Gaslighting in Your Life

Fake Friends - How To Recognize (and neutralize) Gaslighting in Your Life True friends are true treasures â€" they like you as you are, are there for you through the good and bad times, and you bring out the best in each other. But just like family, co-workers and bosses, not all friends are created equal, and rather than lifting you up, some can leave you feeling confused and a little worse off after being around them. If you’ve ever experienced the latter, you may be experiencing gaslighting and not a friend relationship in your life. Gaslighting is an increasingly common term used to describe a covert form of manipulation that others use to make you second-guess yourself, doubt your perceptions, and undermine your confidence and sense of value. Here are 4 signs of gaslighting, and 4 ways to turn the tables on “fake friends” so that you always shine bright.  The hidden (and not so hidden) put-down Has someone ever said that they’re there for you, but then subtly put you down in front of others? Perhaps they’ve shared information you gave them in confidence with others in a way that is not respectful of you. They may cover up a criticism by praising you also or dismiss their breach of trust by telling you that you are oversensitive or misheard things if you confront them about it, so that you doubt yourself or feel bad about bringing it up. That sinking feeling Our bodies will often acknowledge things are not as they should be long before we do.   In our minds, we don’t want to imagine that people who are supposed to care about us, would deliberately do things to hurt us, so we’ll shut out our cognitive awareness of it for as long as possible. Thankfully, our bodies don’t have the same filters! If you get a sinking feeling or it feels like there’s a rock in your stomach when a certain person comes around, it might be time to ask yourself, “What’s that about?”  Isolation from others Another common element of gaslighting behaviours is trying to socially isolate you from others, often by saying things behind your back to create doubt about your integrity or state of mind. This will often show up as a sense of separation or that something is, “not quite right” between you and other people you have in common with this friend. Constant confusion and doubt We create confusion and doubt when our ideal about someone doesn’t match the reality. When we care about someone, we’ll often refuse to perceive them in a less than positive way, even if the evidence is to the contrary. If you are looking for excuses for gaslighting behaviour, you’ll do it your own expense. If you are constantly thinking, “Did they really say that to me?   Did I do something to upset them? Was I imagining it? They’re my friend, why would they want to hurt me?” you are doing exactly what the gas-lighter wants â€" doubting and judging you. Acknowledge what is happening and when A true friend will treat you with regards. They will be honouring of you and anything you tell them. They will look for ways to lift you up, not bring you down. Gas-lighters are experts at twisting and turning facts to make you feel like the villain and in the wrong. If you have a person in your life who is using criticism to undermine you, win an argument or make personal attacks or comments â€" subtle or otherwise â€" this isn’t friendly behaviour. It may help to keep a diary. Note what they are saying or doing that is confusing to you and ask is what they are doing honouring or dishonouring of you? Trust your instincts If something doesn’t feel right in your interactions with someone, no matter how close they are supposed to be with you, don’t excuse or explain it away. Ask yourself: “What’s actually going on here?” Spend time with someone fun to be around, who sees you for yourself, so you can see the difference and regain your own perspective about things. Notice when it feels good to be around someone and when it doesn’t. If there are certain people that keep making you uncomfortable, don’t let it undermine your confidence, just trust your instincts that something is up. Value Yourself First and Foremost A lot of what occurs with gaslighting in our lives depends on us. That doesn’t mean you are responsible for another’s’ choices or actions. It is about your own sense of self-worth: when you are not sure about yourself, you’ll allow other people to walk over you. Gas-lighters appear so sure of themselves, that you’ll believe them just because you aren’t as certain. If you don’t value you, it’s easy for them to trigger that doubt in you. Are you willing to believe in you no matter what? To trust you, value you, and have your own back, even if no one else does? When you are, gas-lighters will fall by the wayside. Recognize It’s Not About You A gas-lighter doesn’t do what they do because of you â€" they do it because of them. It’s truly not personal and has nothing to do with you. If anything, it’s an acknowledgement. They see you as more powerful than them, and don’t want you to know or believe your own value. Your greatest weapon is to out-create them and keep rising in your own life. You don’t have to fight them, descend to their level or confront them to move on, you can just go beyond them! Step back from being involved in their life and get on with yours. The End of Gaslighting The day you decide to be there for you, everything changes. Value you, be the voice of support for yourself in your way of thinking and functioning, and don’t worry about what others think. Get on with creating your wonderful life! Not everyone is going to like you and support you, and that’s fine. Just make sure that the ones you call friends, are the ones who will! This guest post was authored by Smriti Goswami Smriti Goswami is a Business mentor, life coach and certified facilitator of several Access Consciousness ® special programs, including Joy of Business, Being You, Right Voice and Access Bars ®. She is a certified FAA Commercial Pilot, experienced glider pilot and owner of Mumbai organisation, ArtEscapades.   A committed advocate for women’s empowerment, Smriti offers individual consultations and classes around the world, empowering people to think out of the box and follow their dreams. You can connect with her at www.smritigoswami.com

Avoid off-shoring by being creative

Avoid off-shoring by being creative None of you should be concerned about jobs getting shipped off shore. Thats because the jobs going off shore are jobs you wouldnt have wanted anyway. The highly creative, innovative, thought-leadership jobs are staying right here in the United States. In an interview, Dan Pink, author of A Whole New Mind told me we are in the conceptual age where key abilities will not be high tech but high touch, the ability to make connections will matter most in an age where information is a commodity. Some people have to worry about losing their job to a PhD earning $10 an hour in India: If you like to sit in a room and code without having to talk to anyone else, you will find yourself out of work. If you like to take orders and never want to have to risk being told your original idea is stupid, your job can definitely be done by someone who works when Californians are sleeping. But take a good look at yourself. If your job is going overseas, then you probably are not being your best self at work. Because everyone is creative and everyone has a spark to share with the world. So take some time to find yours. If you can only see yourself alone in a dark room, you are probably lonely. And if you can only see yourself taking orders, you are probably bored. Youre just not admitting it. Dont tell me you are a genius. If you were a genius youd find a way to be creative and save your job.

5 Reasons Why Being Grateful is the Best Career Strategy

5 Reasons Why Being Grateful is the Best Career Strategy We all want more â€" more money, more passion, more clarity, more leads, and more opportunities… yes including me. The web is full of all sort of tips to actually do this and achieve more. But while we twirl our mustaches and rub our hands together, imagining all the ways we can get fun stuff for ourselves, it’s time to acknowledge one of the best ways to attract and hunt down opportunity: It’s time to start being grateful for what we have already. Wait, hang on, I’m not going to make this a hallmark moment; actually, the opposite. This is about getting all the best for yourself â€" and only the best. Being grateful for what you have is like having your own awesome, “money, passion, position, experiences”-seeking missile made to nail opportunity to the ground, and this is why: 1. You’ll Know Where to Start When you stop and take stock of what you already have, you can assess why it’s so good for you. For example, let’s say you’re super grateful for your Facebook page. Why? Because it gives you a sense of community. Why? Because you can talk to people who understand you. Why? Because you can benefit from their insights and experiences to improve your quest for success. Boom. Now you have solid intel to help you move forward. What opportunity do you need to hunt down now? Being grateful just narrowed down your opportunity-hunting search criteria by a couple thousand points. 2. You’ll Know What to Stay Away From I have a pair of shoes I really, really love. I’m super grateful for them because they’re comfy, fashionable, and came at a good price. So if I’m really happy to have them, when I go looking for another pair, I’m looking for ones like mine. Are these boots cute and inexpensive, but super uncomfortable? Now I know I don’t want them. The same applies to opportunities. If you love your current job/business because it gives you mobility, good wages, and interesting work, then when the opportunity for a killer job comes along that pays double, has really interesting work, but wants to stick you in nine-to-five office hours at a fixed location with fewer vacation days… guess what? There’s a big button labeled “reject,” and you’re going to be smashing it. 3. You’ll Know What Opportunities You Really Don’t Need Maybe you’re the over-achieving type like me who wants to grab every single opportunity that flies my way because, “I gotta get it before it leaves!” But this can lead to you feeling over-booked, bogged down, and, honestly? In need of naps that last eight hours. An opportunity may be a great thing, but that doesn’t always mean it’s great for you. By being grateful for what you have, you can assess what you don’t actually need. You just got the most awesome job offer, but are you happy with the job you already have?  Then turn it down; there’s no need to work double hours or adjust to a new atmosphere if you don’t really need it. Are you happy with the apartment you’re renting? Then you don’t have to move to a new one just because it’s in a pretty area. 4. It Gives You Confidence Being content is pretty sexy. I’m not saying be complacent, such as sitting in one spot and never moving beyond it. I’m talking about being happy with what you have already. Being happy means being at peace, and being at peace means having confidence. Think of it this way: if you’re desperate to have a new job, you’re going to be really stressed about the job hunt. If you absolutely  have  to close a deal, you’re going to be poor conversation at the water cooler. Your confidence will be shot and you’ll be preoccupied mentally. On the flipside? Being content means keeping your eyes open and carrying yourself differently. You’ll see the opportunities as they come and you’ll be the balanced, sensible choice to those offering the prizes. 5. Most importantly â€" the law of attraction Ever heard of  â€œtime flies fast when you’re having fun?” That’s because your mind, rather than focusing on just the immediate, focuses on many things at once. This boosts your mood, which ultimately leads to your happiness. And it gets even better! The ability to  broaden your perspective will allow you to spot those spur of the moment opportunities and take advantage of them.  It’ll allow you to be creative in your approach and come with up new, on-demand, and highly useful ideas. We all have bad days and frustrating moments but it’s vital to force yourself into a positive frame of mind to help us snap out of it and attract better opportunities.

3 Keys To Getting That Ideal Job - Partnered Content

3 Keys To Getting That Ideal Job - Partnered Content Photo Credit â€" Pexels.comAnyone who has ever gone through the process of trying to land the ideal job will know how stressful and drawn out it really can be. The truth is, it doesn’t matter how many interviews you have done in the past, in a way they never really get any easier. However, this is not to say that all is lost.There are some essential ways in which you can improve your chances of getting any job you want, and in this article we are going to go through some of those.Regardless of the job, if it is something you are really keen on, there are many things you can do to dramatically improve your chances. Let’s take a look now at what those might be.1. Confidence: The Golden KeyevalevalThere is nothing which propels you to success faster than natural confidence. Many people struggle with building up their confidence, but the truth is that it is something which can easily be learned, even if you think of yourself as not a very confident person. No matter what, there are c ertain things you can do to improve your confidence.You can, for example, spend a day working on your posture â€" you might be surprised at what even just this can do for how you regard yourself. Or you might choose to specifically practice being confident in interview situations â€" that can be particularly useful.Whatever you do, make sure that you are working on your confidence at all times, as this above all is what really enables you to succeed in finding your ideal job.Photo Credit â€" Pexels.com2. Specific TrainingWhatever area you are hoping to get into, there is a good chance that you could put yourself further ahead of the competition by engaging in some extra-curricular training. Even if the role you are going for does not specifically require training, there is no harm in getting as much as you can in.After all, the more you know, the more impressively you will come across to your potential employers. When you are looking for training to engage in, make sure that you are thinking carefully about the industry that you are aiming to work for, and try to get specific training for the role you want.An online masters in engineering management is ideal for the engineer, for example, and the same applies for whatever area you might be looking at. Be as specific as possible; that is the key to impressing them.3. Research The IndustryAs we have seen, the more you know the better, and you can learn a great deal of useful information by researching the very industry that you aim to work within.evalThe more you can find out about how the industry works, what makes it tick, what the people are like and so on, the more easily you can put yourself forward as the perfect example of the ideal candidate. This is hugely important, and it is relatively easy to achieve, with the right focus and attitude.Photo Credit â€" Pexels.com